May 5, 2008
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I did not write this but its GREAT!!!
WOULDN'T
IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR
REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH? My Fellow Americans: As you all
know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been
completed. Since Congress does not want to spend any more money on this
war, our mission in Iraq is
complete.
This
morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days.
It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before
me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood
by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed
there.
The
other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's
nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of
both lists later this
evening.
Let me
start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on
List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first
year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.THEN
EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER IT WILL GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO
BROKE IN 20 YEARS.The
American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes
and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.Need
help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France
!
In
the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward
solving the vexing social problems we still have at home .. On that note, a
word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and
eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth!
Thirsting
for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China !
I am
ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help,
comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bonne chance, mez amies.I have instructed the
Mayor of New York City to begin
towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to
sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care
about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of
unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes,
Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world.
I love New
York
!
A special note to our
neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be
seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off
for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2 its
president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude
adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess
where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.
Oh, by
the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty
- starting now.
We
are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil
needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this
decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.It
is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own
citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, 'darn
tootin.'
Nearly
a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only
earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time
to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought.
Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.
To the nations on List 2, a
final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America . Thank you and good night.
Comments (17)
AMEN!!
I do think that the candidate that gives the impression that they will focus on the U.S. will win. It is odd how the candidates are so focused on issues overseas. I get the impression these candidates don't really spend time with regular people. We hear from the news media that the number one issue for people is Iraq or national security. That is because it gets the most focus. If you take all the issues concerning the economy together, I am sure that what people really care about is the U.S.
I don't want to get into an argument, but I do not think this is great, except the part about getting out of Iraq right away. I do want to point out that Canada has sent troops to fight along side us in Afghanistan. Also, foreign aid to 3rd world hellholes is money well spent. It's a tiny portion of our tax dollars but it goes along way toward providing global stability. We don't hear about how and when it's working. We only hear the bad news when it isn't or isn't working fast enough. Having the "fuck you" attitude toward other countries espoused in this piece will seriously lead us into big trouble. I know it's meant to be sort of comedy, but I just can't help but express my dismay, because for many people, this sort of attitude is taken seriously.
Our economy is global. Everything is interconnected. Cooperation is crucial. From other countries, yes, but if we want to be leaders we must lead in that regard as well.
I hope you will receive my dissenting opinion in the friendly spirit in which it is offered.
Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sometimes common sense just gets over looked. It might hurt in the short term but an inward look can't would help.
Have a great day!
I like this, but I think it would be overkill. We could solve this dilemma a lot easier by charging 10 barrels of oil for each bushel of wheat. Comparable prices for corn; etcetera. If OPEC wants to rape us on the price of one of our necessities, we can at least get our mutual pleasure by increasing the cost of some of it's necessities.
@beli_grrl - I believe we could easilly be a self-sufficient country again, if we weren't all so greedy and ready to sell out our fellow Americans to the highest bidder or lowest priced provider.
Wow! Great article! thanks for sharing it!
Hey, I hope you are doing well.
Hugs, C.
Early Happy Mother's Day to you!!!
This isn't honestly how you feel or what you think, is it? I've held off commenting on this all day to see what other people are saying. I really hope you posted this as a joke and you think it's great simply for comedic effect. Because otherwise... holy shit.
Damn..... where do I start? Let me list the things I am with you on; better yet, let me save some space....brb.
@beli_grrl - I did not write this but laughed when I did in the spirit I believe it was written because none of it will happen any time soon.
@TheTheologiansCafe - I think that was the point - that we should pay more attention to ourselves - but at the same time be more responsible about decisions we make concerning other countries and not make everyone elses problems our own..
@Watcher_601 - A good point!!
@gwenstylez - I did but it does have some good points in it. I love my Canadian and even Mexican neighbors - we need each other. But we do focus a little to much outside of the box. On terrorism stuff I do agree though.
@Bubble_Matrix - Keep in mind I do not agree with everything written... I just found this interesting. Although some of it I do think are valid points to ponder.
Not to worry Lex....I also agreed with many of the things in the letter which I have taken the liberty of editing to my liking and reposting on my site. I was sure to tag you though so I hope that is okay. Take a look if you are so inclined.
@gwenstylez - you should stop by too!
@Bubble_Matrix - That was great!! Hee he - should go post there...
Where do I start?.... Canada has been side by side with the U.S on a LOT of things. Pretty much everything.
Everything except the U.S.'s illegal and shitbrained war on the sovereign nation of Iraq, cooked up out of bogus intelligence and lie after lie after lie. I am disgusted by this article in every regard, and feel that whoever wrote it is a fuckwad who should blow Bill O'Reilly or some other small-dicked extreme right wing jackass with similar shit-for-brains political leanings. If patriotism is this kind of thinking, then I believe the very idea of being a patriot today is in trouble. This kind of thinking is uninformed and just plain stupid. Canada is in no way the enemy.
I will never have to learn Arabic. Canada has more oil than we know what to do with. The U.S. buys most of their oil from Canada, btw. The biggest supporter of the Arab states is the U.S. The Bin Laden family and the Bush's have been business partners and best friends for many, many years. The Saudi Royal Family comes to the States to hang out with the Bush's like they're brothers. The U.S. funded Saddam Hussein and his government, as well as Iran and many many other tyrranical governments all over the world. The U.S. creates more instability wordwide than it does any good. That's the truth. Sure, there have been many good things and heroic efforts. But the cons outweigh the pros over and over these days.
And, don't even get me started on 9/11 and that whole shitstorm of cover-ups and half-truths.
The U.S. Government has been selling out it's own citizens in every regard for many years in many ways. Your health care system is in shambles. The Federal Reserve Bank serves it's own interests first and foremost. China OWNS your economy, lock stock & barrel. The U.S. is currently borrowing BILLIONS of dollars from 3rd world countries like Brazil... not for the betterment or benefit of everyday U.S. citizens, but to fund their illegal wars, to build bombs and missiles, and to kill over 500,000 people in Iraq alone.... and do you believe that that's half a million soldiers / terrorists / insurgents / militants or whatever the fuck FOX News is calling themn this week??? That's women and children and innocent people for the most part. The Iraq war is for oil, not the spreading of freedom, or to help the middle east in any way.
The war on terrorism is a fucking joke, the war on drugs is a fraud, but the U.S. government's war on it's own people through fear mongering, the calculated assaults on the middle class, and it's lies and propaganda are the only successes thus far. How many more millions of honest-to-goodness everyday US citizens should be thrown in jail for this "mandatory minimum sentencing" bullshit? The oil companies and pharmaceutical companies and kooky charismatic christians are the only voices heard these days. Might as well revoke your own dubious "freedom of speech". Your once proud and fair Constitution has been destroyed by the current Bush administration. Actually, they've wiped their asses with it, then pissed on it altogether with the Patriot Act and other similar totalitarianist and outright fascist illegal shit.
If isolationism suits you in this very global economy and political atmosphere we have today, I have a model for you to consider. North Korea. And, as you can plainly see, it's not working for them at all.
If you hate me for my strong views, that's ok, but that's what blogging is about... throwing it out there.
I would love to be less dependent on oil. I'd go back to good old single-horse power for local running around. The problem would be current day horse-thieves when you leave 'em parked outside the grocery store.
Too bad our President and idiots in Washington dont have the BALLS to do this.....seems be fought for Independance a long ways back and now we depend way too much on other countries for too much crap......and we have 3-stoogies running for the office of dumb shits
@guff_shovel - Your comments are EXACTLY why I posted this. It is very emotional stuff! Thank you for THINKING dude! I loved your response - I may not agree with it but hey thats ok too. I love to be a shit stirrer.
Keep rocking!!
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