September 10, 2008

  • Take a Deep Breath and Breathe

    That is what I tell myself several times a day and things are getting better. I am now able to focus on work and in fact billed out a rather large amount yesterday. I was also offered a part time position doing some HTML programming for an internet company here in KC. I make more doing graphic work them for as a free lance artist but ya know what... I am going to take it anyhow to get me OUT OF THE HOUSE. Just 20 hours a week (or more - I can make my own schedule with this company). It is a temporary position unless I can really motivate myself and get shit done - which of course I can! :)

    On the J front... He seems to think this new living arrangement is great. He spent the night Monday and I have to admit the chemistry and fireworks were awesome after not being with each other physically for a while. But still I cried myself to sleep holding him because I want the security of him with me every night. He started to tell me that he really misses me but I would not let him - this is his doing after all. I want him to miss me and beg to come back. Do I think that will happen? Yes, but not anytime soon. I have been wrong before...

    Maddi asked J the other night "Why do you not want to stay here with my mommy anymore? You should be sleeping by her every night!" I just laughed and agreed with her.

    Hope you are all doing well. Here is a pic of me and all my babies last Friday night at a football game. We had such a good time and it had been awhile since all my kids were together.

    Clockwise: Ashley, Me, Sammi, CJ, Maddi.

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