February 5, 2008

• Ya know what I hate more than anything? Waiting on other people. Especially people you should be able to depend on to be there... always. Waiting sucks. Do you think the people that make us wait are even aware they are irritating? Do you think they know it sometimes hurts our feelings. Do they hate to wait? Perhaps their agendas are more important and making a phone call or sending a text is just incomprehensible, a nuisance. So we wait... cell phone close at hand or periodically running to the computer to check email. But it's all for naught until a miracle happens. The phone rings and it is the correct ring tone. The one that makes all the difference in the world.

  Until then we just wait. People like that know we are dependable that way - that we love deeply enough to make sure we are there...waiting until we aren't waiting anymore. Or can't.

  I'm not sure it's possible to stop waiting for something that never happens though. Something like waiting for someone to come home or not; waiting for the offer to be accepted or declined; waiting to hear a voice and then only dreaming about it; waiting to feel safe and feeling insecure; waiting for peace and finding none; waiting for a loan and being rejected; waiting for court papers to be served and then waiting for the reaction; waiting for the coffee to brew and finding the pot unplugged...

  Waiting for morning, knowing the night will be long and possibly lonely. Worried cause of the snow. Praying the plow gets him home safely.

  Waiting = patience. Patience is something we only have when we care about something enough to do the waiting for it. So since I care, since I love, I wait. In the end, when the waiting is over, what's in front of me will remain the same.

  And sometimes that thought is to much for me to handle but the decision has been made to ride it out and wait.

  • 11:16 pm
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