Merry Christmas to me!

HE SAID IT!!!

And not just once!

This is hysterical - I stole it from my friends site. You know who you are! This made me crack up!!!!
The Mom Song

For those of you that want to know, are curious about what happened when J finally came home... we talked but not as much as I thought we would. I almost was to wore out from the whole thing to not really care. No one is perfect but this, to me, is a major flaw. If you can not make it home - due to your job or some other reason - you call. PERIOD. This having been said I walked away and left him alone.

Late Friday afternoon, after he was finally up and around after salting roads most of the night, I sat down next to him on the couch. We cuddled for awhile and watched some tv. Finally he said "You need to go fix your hair and put some make up on so we can get some dinner." I took that as a hint that I looked like crap. Earlier I had taken a shower and let my hair air dry - it is fairly curly and dries weird. All I could think is "If we are just going to go to dinner why does he care?" I almost put on mascara only and then though perhaps it would be fun to do it all and get some extra attention. Not off him, but other men where ever we go. That decided I straightened my hair and put on "the works" for make up. Normally I do not wear foundation but did tonight.

I was soooo glad I did.

Ont he way to dinner he told me we would have to hurry - go someplace not to busy. This irritated me and when I asked why he said "Did you forget that my daughter has a basketball game tonight."

My response was "Well yeah kinda since you never have taken me to one (this was the second one btw - no biggie)."

"I wanted to surprise you." he had. I knew his whole family would be there along with the ex wife. It turned out to be a lot of fun! His ex is always nice to me but seemed surprised to see me there as she never takes her BF anywhere where J might be. Weirdness. Not my problem.

After the game, which they lost (ahhhh), we drove a different way home. When it became apparent to me we were not going home I asked what out destination might be. He told me were were on our way to get gas. Oh ok. We ended up on Metcalf over near Hooters and he asked if I wanted to go in. "Ummm no." So he drove around behind Hooters and asked if I wanted to go to the Comedy club. "Really? Two surprises in one night?" I was so glad I looked nice. "Yep - our name is on the list."

He had gone in there before coming home and put us on the list to see Victoria Jackson (Saturday Night Live). We had a great time! She sucked but the opening act was good and we got passes to see another show. We really needed that time out together. The rest of the night was great spent in each others arms.

Do his surprises make up for his lack of communication? Yes. Will I get pissed if he does it again? Yes. Does he mean to hurt me? No. But it does. However, it will not keep me from loving him.

In other news we are waiting for more ice here in KC. The lake (where my family is) already is losing power everywhere and I hope we don't up here. Ice is good for the tree business though so J is praying for enough to cause damage to trees. He can make anywhere from $50k on up per week in clean up. I will be answering calls for him if this hits and keeping a list of who needs what. The phone is already ringing more than usual today. He is still home though - I do not have to answer until he leaves or hopefully until tonight.

I think I will go get me a piece of ass before he leaves...

Ice storm at the lake this past January:

Texting to the man I love who did not come home last night... or so I thought...

C to J 2:16 am:  Where are you? This really sucks. You know I hate this complete lack of communication. I had hoped you where past this. It hurts. Hope it was worth it...

J to C 8:01 am: Call me when you can!!! Miss you.

C to J 8:36 am: So you are alive... Good. I am not happy. At. All. I am sick of your behavior. I am sick of feeling so unimportant I do not even rank high enough for a phone call. I am so tired of trying so hard and then feeling stupid and let down.

What is so hard about communication with you? Why do you shut me out?

I know when you have a lot of stress you disappear but it is no longer acceptable to me. I have been patient far beyond my ability and I am cracking. Not knowing where you are hurts. Especially this time of year. FUCK that! It hurts every time. Be thankful for what we have and don't throw us away.

You asked me to have faith In you... I have something more - I have faith in us. Do you? Quit making me cry. Just love me and treat me like you want to be treated.

BTW I think you would have liked the soup I made for you.

J to C 8:38 am: Call me when you can!!! Miss you. (He did not even bother to read my email based on the amount of time it took for him to respond! I was hot under the collar before but now I was pissed off.)

C to J 8:39 am: No.

Then Maddi came in and gave me here darling morning greeting of  "I'm hungry - can I have some cereal now?" Time to get up! So I got her breakfast and then started to make myself coffee. I just stared at the coffee pot for a second. It was on the counter. Actually it is a carafe coffee pot made by Cuisinart - you guys now the one - it grinds the beans for ya... ok. Anyhow, my jaw drops open. My son does not drink coffee and only 1 person I know in the world will drink day old coffee in stead of making it fresh.

Yep. My man. "Fuck." I looked in the cabinet for one of the 2 coffee mugs he uses that hold about a gallon of coffee each. One was gone. There were also 2 cereal bowls in the sink. My son's and... Again I mumbled "fuck".
I proceeded with coffee making. Dump out grinds and rinse filter. Put back in. Put in beans. Rinse out pot and fill - dump in coffee maker. Turn on. And the coffee started grinding and I noticed that I had forgot to put one important piece back in the coffee pot. What do I do? I open the filter area thinking since the grinder is still grinding it has not dumped into the filter yet. WRONG! Ground coffee went everywhere. "Fuck!" I yanked the cord out of the wall to stop it.

I cleaned it all up - all 300 pieces of the fucking (do you see a theme with this word) coffee maker and then started over. When I poured my first cup there were grounds in the cup. I sighed, stomped my foot and decided crunchy or not - I need the caffeine. I am still drinking it.

I then sat down at my desk and looked at my calendar to note the date. I was surfing the food networks web site for a couple recipes I saw last night on Emeril Live and Rachael Ray's "30 Minute Meals". On my calendar, on todays date was the word "MOODY". Ok. I blew a gasket at the moment.

So I was wrong. He was here. Got here at some point during the night. He thinks that makes everything ok. It does make it better, but still don't I have a right to be pissed that he had not called all evening to tell me he was going out to do...??? Who knows what? I wouldn't even care so long as he just let me know. But he just does what he wants. The good far outweighs this one major flaw he has. Loving him does not stop.

So I sent this email with a subject of "Moody huh?":
"J, Let me make a suggestion. When you come home at all
hours, like you can do whatever the fuck you want, at least let me know
you are here. I would rather curl up with you than be as pissed off as
I am right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will await the story of
where you were upon your return.

That said... thank you for at least coming home."

My mobile phone immediately rang. I sent him to voice mail. He left a message I still have not listened too. Then the house phone rang and rang and rang. I ignored it (why don't house phones have that ignore button feature?).

I need him to talk to me in person. Phone is to easy. Obviously we both were in the wrong but of course I was righter than him so ninny ninny boo boo.

NO ONE NEEDS TO JUDGE HIM ON THIS - I ALREADY HAVE. NO ONE NEEDS TO TELL ME ANYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT HIM. OK... Ann can but thats it!!!

Just getting ready for the holidays! We have been decorating (even here - new layout is my design) and even steam cleaned the carpets yesterday. I am really tired - not sleeping well the last week or so. Not that I sleep great anyhow. J has been sick - coughing and since he is up in the middle of the night might as well wake me up to play right? Or I am getting up to dump nyquil down his throat. Little for J... Little for Christy... Night night now.

Let's see.... anything new... Well I did get my coins from Grumpy Bear. Thanks Grumpy! It was fun winning your contest!! I had picked the Nascar Champ - this contest has been going on for awhile. It was pretty darn competitive too. The coins are sitting on my desk. One is a 1885 Silver Dollar and the other is a 1921 Silver Dollar. Never had coins this old before so that is neat!

Picked up J's birthday present today. I would say what it is but I am not convinced he does not read my blog so it will have to wait until after his birthday! It is awesome though!

Ok - my brain is fried - not much sleep last night but once again we did have sex in the middle of the night - got a little crazy too. Yummo. I just can not say no to that man. Hell why would I want too? This morning we started all over again. Can't wait for this weekend - we are going to to the lake to chill for a couple days. Finally. Life has been busy busy!

Here are a couple pictures of my bird eating, of all things, my fried egg and cheese sandwich this morning. He really went to town. Is that considered semi-cannibalism? I don't know...